Favorite Fear Experiment

While many of my classmates projects were interesting, one truly spoke to me. Brian's presentation of his fear of losing everything he knows to be true was so incredibly honest and real I had chills as I listened to him speak.

His presentation was by far one of the most brave displays of truthfulness I have ever witnessed.

This project touched me more than anyone else's, because while I am often shy in class about sharing my projects, I cannot even imagine sharing my most personal thoughts on my personal life to some people that feel like strangers to me. I truly admire his openness, candor, and sincerity.

My project was true in that taking tests is one of my most debilitating fears, but I was not concerned about being judged by the content. Brian was courageous enough to express his deepest fear in such an honest way, despite the possibility of someone judging him. I hope he knows his presentation only reflects admirable attributes I would be blessed to have more of.

Experiment Tested!

Last class I shared my fear of taking tests with my classmates. Before I conducted the experiment I explained to the class the way I feel when I take tests and why it is a fear of mine. This is what I said to the class.

"Since I was an elementary school student I can recall feelings of horrible test anxiety. To this day, the night before a test I am can’t sleep because of all of the concerns about the test consume my thoughts. Then when I sit down to take the test, I can feel the fear overcome me. I feel my heart start to race, my body gets hot, and my mind is so overwhelmed with possible bad outcomes that I find it very difficult to simply focus on a question long enough to finish the sentence. Usually I leave feeling frustrated because I might have done better if I had just relaxed and not let myself feel overwhelmed.

For my Fear Experiment, I will be attempting to get you guys to understand why taking tests is a fear of mine. My hope for the experiment is that you all may be able to immerse yourselves in the experience just for a moment so that it feels real to you. I made up a test of general knowledge questions from the website TEFLGames.com and added some distractions to the page to symbolize my fear and frustration when I take a test. You will have 5 minutes to complete as many questions as you can. To put a little pressure on the outcome of the test, the person that gets the most questions correct will win a $5 gift card to McDonalds."

I was really excited to see the urgency most of the classmates showed when they were answering the questions on my test. I heard several people say "It is so difficult to read through the entire question!" and "This is hard!"  I feel like the urgency and frustration to complete the test in the five minutes I allotted was likely fueled by competitiveness but I think it did a good job giving them an idea of how frantic I feel when I take tests. 

I think next time I would like to try to have a longer test and extend the time to about 15 minutes. I would like to see if the 15 minute time limit and more questions would breed more frustration. The reason I left the experiment to only 5 minutes is because I was concerned it would be too difficult to get people to care long enough for it to still feel relevant and worthy of the time they were putting into it. 

Overall, I was pleasantly surprised at the effort my classmates used to try to understand my fear. I felt like the experiment was successful in creating frustration, anxiety, and a sense of urgency. Even if it was just for a gift card to McDonalds...   :)

First Attempt at Fear

This week's class was incredibly interesting!

Walking into class I had no idea what to expect. The tone was soon set when a tarantula in a tupperware was thrown in my direction. While my fear experiment had nothing to do with spiders, they are actually my NUMBER ONE fear!!!! I was crying before I even realized what happened!

Once I was able to calm myself from the flying spider mishap, I knew there was no way it could get worse so I felt ready for anything.

It was interesting to see and try to understand what some of the fears my classmates have. I felt especially moved by Brian's presentation of his greatest fear. It was unbelievably honest and real. That was incredibly brave of him.

Class Reflection (3-21)

I had such a nice time last class. The sun was warm and bright and I was so excited when Beth wrote on the white board to meet on the balcony.

After we spent some time chatting about our spring break, Beth told us to close our eyes. I didn't know what to expect but I trusted it would be an interesting experience so I obliged. Beth's voice was so soft and calm as she performed  somewhat of a meditative experience. She had us focus on the sounds around us. Normally, I feel I am so busy that I that I don't stop to be calm. It was really interesting to stop and focus on the small sounds around me. I thought it was interesting when one of my classmates said he didn't like the way he felt like he was loosing control because I loved the way it felt! I felt so relaxed and in the present. I would love to try some more meditative experiences again.

Freakin' Out!

What is fear?

I would describe fear as a feeling of concern, distress, and anxiety about a situation that is either real or imagined.  Fear can cause people to feel panicked, frightened, and alarmed when presented with something or some experience. It seems the word “fear” is applied more specifically to a particular attitude a person may have toward something. For example, simply the thought of spiders triggers feelings of horror and fright in me. I feel the hair on my neck stand up and I squirm at the thought of a spider touching me. Spiders aren’t the only things I find fearful. I also tend to worry and be afraid of things or ideas that have yet to happen to me. For example I have feelings of trepidation when I do not write down my tasks (related to school or otherwise personal plans) or if I know I need to have a difficult conversation with someone.

Fear can significantly affect your life if you are unable to control the thoughts and feelings of apprehension and fright. Since I was an elementary school student I can recall feelings of horrible test anxiety. To this day, the night before a test I am unable to sleep; what-if thoughts and concerns explode in my mind as I struggle to quiet the noise of doubt. When I sit down to take the test, fear consumes my body. I feel my heart start to race, my body gets hot, and my mind is so overwhelmed with possible bad outcomes that I find it very difficult to simply focus on a question long enough to finish the sentence. Rarely am I able to control my anxiety for the length of the test and I always leave feeling frustrated that I might have done better if I had just focused harder on the questions and answers. Maybe this is why I ended up in a mostly project-based major… :)

Fear Experiment

            For my Fear Experiment, I will be exploring what it may be like for an average student to feel test anxiety. To better understand why some students and myself feel test anxiety I looked up some of the common contributing factors. According to WebMD, there are various factors that include prior unpleasant experiences, poor preparation, perfectionism, and a social atmosphere that places excessive importance on test results. My hope for the experiment is that my classmates will be able to immerse themselves in the experience if just for a moment so they will understand why this is a fear of mine. However, it may be difficult to create feelings of concern and anxiety in my classmates because they know at the end of the class my experiment will not affect their grade or overall wellbeing. 

Stuffed Animal Inspiration

In class, Beth gave each of us a stuffed animal from a big trash bag. There were all types of stuffed toys from the wild, television shows, and movies. I did not recognize the stuffed animal that was tossed to me. Other students in class told me it was an angry character from a cartoon television show. 
The goal was to create contradiction and also harmony between the stuffed toy and whatever we would create. I did not know where to begin so I took a picture of the toy and put it into photoshop. I played around with the image, duplicating it, turning it, adding filters to it. Eventually an image resembling a kaleidoscope appeared. I liked the way it was looking so I continued to manipulate it. I created a cutout frame around it to make the image look more complete. 
The contradiction is that I took a stuffed toy that represents an angry mean cartoon character and turned the image of it into a pretty piece of art that is interesting to look at. The harmony is that I used the actual colors of the toy to create a new product. 
The bliss assignment was helpful in this because when I sat down to create something I was very open to whatever may come. The end result is below!

My Bliss

I could not believe my ears when Beth explained the 'Bliss' assignment! I was thrilled to hear I would have 2.5 hours to myself to reflect and to gain inspiration. One of my favorite things to do when I need to clear my mind is to spend time with my dog Regis. I love petting him and taking him for walks. I find I am able to clear my mind and relax when I am with him. I spent about one hour of my bliss time with him.
The rest of the time I spent with my mom drinking coffee and talking. I can talk to my mom for hours but because I am always so busy we don't get together as much as I would like to so I took this opportunity to hang out with her.
I loved this experience because I find when I take time to myself to relax and not thing about all of my obligations I am a more creative person but it is not always easy pulling myself away from all of my commitments.